Blah!

Sometimes it is hard to care. Sometimes it is hard to want to work hard. Sometimes the idea of getting up is so daunting that we pretend the alarm never happened.

I am the first to admit that although it appears that I am always optimistic, always trying to move forward, and am "doing it" that I have my days as well where I wish real life could pause itself. Sometimes I want to wrap myself in a blanket burrito with Netflix and eat chinese food and pretend that I am 12 years old again (cough cough last night). This has been a lot of the past week for me honestly. The spark has fizzled out a bit.

The reason I felt the need to write today (considering I also did not want to blog this week) is that I allow myself to embrace these feelings because I know that my personality will eventually take back over and kick me in the ass like I need it to. That is something that as musicians, artists, workers of any kind we need to train ourselves to be. I am naturally a go-getter but after so many tumbles and falls there is a point where anyone will break down a bit and it is only with constant diligence that we our able to train ourselves to care beyond what is natural. 

Let's face it, if you want a career in the arts that's what you need. You need to care beyond what is natural and take pride in what you produce. You do not have the privilege to waltz into a rehearsal super hung over and just kind of "keep your head down" because your tone and intonation will suffer and be noticed. "Dressing down" a bit one day is not possible when the dress code for most orchestral performances is a tux and any other time you are more than likely to be asked to wear some kind of button up shirt tie combo (if you're a guy at least). Worrying about work before you get there is unavoidable if you warm up prior to rehearsal and honestly the soundtrack in my head is enough to deafen anyone.

When life gives you lemons, sometimes you just need to bite down hard. Accept the sour taste it leaves you with. We can learn from it and we can also just let it pass. Eventually you will feel normal again. And if you don't? Play Bach.

B-Randon...OUT!